Bz.t Si 



ished. The "Popular Edition" of Baker's Reading Club and 
ker. Nos, 1, 2, 3, and 4, 50 selections in eacli. Price 15 cents each. 




l!<nteredta£COrdingtoActof Conn-eBs, in thcyearlE^o. «iy Georoe M. Baeeb, in the Offic ottue 
Librarian of Congress, at WoshinKton. 



r,p saoO'OQ^(jooojaoO'^joao>OQ^(^^ooaoQ<^(jao^ ^(jo/ jf s ^ 



SPENCER'S UUIVERSAL STAGE. 



A Collection of COMEDIES, DRAMAS, and FARCES, adapted to either Public )'{ 

or Private Performance. Containino a full description of all ^ ' 

the necessarrj Stage Business. ^ '■ 



f 



PBICE,15 CENTS MA.CH. ^^^ No Plmjs exchanged. 



C. 



1. liost f.ii riOiidon. A Drama in 

Three Acts. 'Mule, 4 Female char- 
acters. 

2. Nicliolas Flam. A Comedy in Two 

Acts. JJy J. B. Buckstone. 5 Male, 
3 Female cliaracters. 

3. The IVelsJfi «irl. A Comedy in 

One Act. By Jlrs. Planche. 3 Male, 
2 Female cliaracters, 

4. John ^Vopps. A Farce in One Act. 

By \y. E. Sutcr. 4 Male, 1> Female 
characters. 

5. The TurliisU Bath. A Farce in 

One Act. By Montague Williams 
and F. C. Burnancl, ^Male, 1 Fe- 
male character. 

The T\vo Puddifoots. A Farce 
in One Act. By J, ]M. Morton. 3 
Male, 3 Female characters. 

Old Honesty. A Comic Drama in 
T'.vo Acts, J'.y J. M. jMorton. 6 
Male, 2 Female characters. 

Ttvo Gentlemen In a Fix. A 
Farce i/\ One Act. By \i. E. Suter. 

2 ]Male cliaracters. 
Smashin$;ton Goit. A Farce in 

One Act. l?y T. J. Williams. 5 Male, 

3 Female characters. 
Two Heads Better thanOne. A 

Farce in One Act. By Lenox Home. 

4 Iilale, 1 Female character. 

John T>oljbs. A Farce in One Act. 
By J. i>I. JSlorton. 6 Male, 2 Female 
characters. 

The Haiighter of the Kegi- 
ment. A" Drama in Two Acts. By 
Fdward Fitzball, (J Male, 2 Female 
characters. 

Annt Charlotte's Mnid. A Farce 
in One Act. By J. 31. Jlorton. 3 
Male, 3 Female characters. 

Brother Bill and Me. A Farce in 
One Act. By W. K. Suter. 4 Male, 
3 Femaln characters. 

15. I>one on Both Sides. A Farce in 
• Onr Act. r>y .1. IM. IMorton. 3 
Male, 2 Female characters. 

J" T*«nd«chetty's Picnic. A Farce 
in One Act. By T. J. AVilUams. 6 
ilMale, 3 Female characters. 

U. I've -written to BroAvne. A Farce 
in One Act. By T.J.Williams. 4 
Male, 3 Female characters. 



10 



11. 



12. 



13 



14 



spending a Iland. A Farce in One ( ) 
Act. i3y ti. A. A'Becket. 3 Male, 
2 Female characters. 



19. 



One Act. By J. j\I. Morton. 4 Male, 
4 Fcm:ik characters 

20. My Turn IVext. A Farce in One Act. 



;ii 



4 Male, 3 Fe- V 
A Com 



'4! 



By T. J. AVilliams. 
male ciiavr. tters. 

21. Wine Poiiii ? of the Iia-%v 

edy in v»no Act. By Tom Taylor, 
4 Male, .> Female charact/.>rs. { 

22. The Phantom Breakfast. A ^, 

Farce in One Act. By Cliarlcs Sel- y^ 
by. 3 Jlale, 2 Female characters. ^. 
2.3. Bandelions Bodges. A Farce in 
One AcN Bv T. J. Williams 
Male, 2 Female characters. 

24. A Slice of I^ticlc. A Farce in One 

Act. r- J. U. Morton. 4 Male, 2 
Female c^.-v.acters. 

25. Alwaj's Intended. A Comedy in 

One Act. .'.^y Horace Wigan. 3 
IMalc. 3 FemaJe characters. 

26. A Bnll in a China Shop, A Com- 

edy in Two Acts. By Charles I^Iat- 
thews. Male, 4 Feuiale characicrs. 

27. Another Olass. \ Drama in One 

Act. By Thomas Morton. G Male, 
3 Female characters. 

28. BoAvled Out, *A Farce in One Act. 

By II. T. Craven. 4 Male, 3 Female 
characters. 

29. Cousin Torn. A Commedietta in 

One Act. By George Koberts. 3 

31ale, 2 Female cliaracters. 
.30. Sarah's Young Man„ A Farce in 

One Act. By \\\ E. Suter. 3 Male, 

3 Female characters. 
31. Hit Illm, He has Wo Friends. 

A Farce in One Act. By E, Yates 

and N. II. Harrington. 7 Male, 3 

Female characters. 
3?- The Christci»ing. A Farce in One 
ici. ByJ.B. iiiickstone. 5 Male, ( 

o Female characters. ( 

35. A Race for a "^VidoAv. A Farce 

in One Act. By Thomas J. Wil- ( 

liams. 5 Male, 4 Female characters. ( 
2-^ Your T^ife's in I>anger. A Farce ( 

in One A^t. By J. "M. Morton. 3 { 

]\Ialc, 3 Female characters. ( 

3^^. Tr^ie unto Beath. A Drama in ( 

Two Acts. By J. Sheridan Knowles. ( 

G 3Iale, 2 Fcrnale characters, 



i Or>QO.QCOC-X)e4X:Orj000300QOOaQCQOOCOQOtXOOC)OOC 



©^ 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 



a 



BY THE AUTHOR OP 

*Sylvia'« Soldier,' "Once on a Time," "Down by the Sea," "Bread on the Waten,* 
" The L4ist Luai." " Stand by tlie Flag," " The Tempter," "^ Drop Too Much," " We're 
All Teetotak.-s," "A Little More Cider," "Thirty Minutes lor Refreshments," 
" Wanted, a Male Coolt," " A Sea of Troubles," " Freedom of the i'ress," " A 
Close Shave," "The Great Klixir," "The Man with the Demijohn," "New 
Brooms Sweep Clean," " Humors of tlie Strike," " My Uncle Uie Captain," 
"The Greatest I'lague in Life," "Ko Cure, N^^Pay," "The Greciuu 
Bend," "The War of the Koses," " Lightheart'g Pilgrimage," 
" The Sculptor's Triumph," " Too Late for the Train," " Snow- 
Bound." "The Peddler of Very Kice," " Bonbons," " Capu- 
letta," "An Original Idea," " Enlisted for the War," 
"Never say Die," "The Champion of her Sex," 
"The Visions of Freedom," "The Merry Christ- 
mas of the Old Woman who lived in a 
Shoe," " The Tournament of Idyicourt, 
•• A Thorn among the Koses," 
"A Christmas Carol," 
"One Hundred 
Ytars Ago," ^ 



^'^.. 



<A/,., 






BOSTON : 
GEORGE M. BAKER AND COMPANY, 

41-15 FOANJCUH STRBBT. 






Copyright 

B7 Geoboe M. Baeeb, 

1876. 



Electrotyped at the Boston Stereot>'pe Foundry, 
.19 Spring Lane. 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 



CHARACTERS. 

John Ready, President of the Excelsior Debating Club. 

James Rose, Secretary. 

Tom Slowboy, Treasurer. 

Sam Sly, 

Frank Wilson, 

Charlky Boardman, 

Frank Black (colored) 

Isaac Pearl, 

Percy Kimball, 

NoRVAL Young, 

Mike Shea, 



Debaters. 



Scene. — Eoom^ Presidents Desk and Chair ^ c. Sec- 
retari/, Table, and Chair^ k. of Desk. Four Chairs 
R., and five Chairs l. The whole arranged in a 
semicircle back. 

{Enter ■&", John 'REAjyY, followed by Slowboy.) 
Beady, Treasury entirely empty, you say, Slow- 
boy ? 

Slowboy, Not a dollar, not the minutest particle of 

169 



170 SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

scrip, not even that very small specimen of hard money 
— a nickel. 

Rtady, Where has it gone ? It was only a month 
ago we collected the annual assessment. 

Sloioboy. And it was only last week we had our 
great 'debate On *.' The Influence, of Peaoe," In! which 
our members became so much interested, that four 
panes of glass were broken, the looking-glass smaslied, 
one chair received a broken back, and another had a 
compound fracture of one of it-s legs. Of course, all 
these little eccentricities of genius must be paid for; 
and the trensuryis empty. If this is one of the influ- 
ences of peace, we had better change the subject. 

Beady. The members were a little emphatic on 
that occasion ; but it was a glorious debate ; and the 
question, "Resolved, that Peace is the foundation of 
Prosperity," was carried before we broke up. 

Slowboy. Yes; and 'twas the peace party broke up 
the furniture, and smashed the windows. "' " 

'^ ^ Will 

Heady. Ah, Slowboy, I fear you bear malice ; for 
you, if I recollect aright, were one of the war party. 

Slowboy. My voice is still for war. 

Heady. ^We must fiud some way to fill the treasury, 
I fear the members will not stand taxali .n. ; ^..^ Vyv 

Slowboy. With the storied memoiies of their plucky 
forefathers before them in this centennial year, I should 
say, not a cent. It must be raised by fines. The peace 
party have cariied the day. Let us have peatje. 

Heady. I do not understand you. . 

Slowboy. My plan is very simple. We are con-i 
stantly interrupted in debate. There's that Sam Sly, 



SHALL OTJB MOTHERS VOTE ? 171 

for instance. Heretofore you have tried to suppress 
the interruption with the remark, " The gentleman is 
out of order ; " wliereupon the gentleman subsides until 
he feels like breaking out again. And they do break 
out often, especially Sly. Now, I propose to fine a 
member, for each and every interruption, five cerits. 
Some of them will find it impossible to keep quiet; and 
our tre.isiiry will fill rapidly. 

Heady. That's quite an idea — if it can only be 
made to work. 

Slowhoy. I think it can. And if we succeed, Sam 
Sly will pay dear for this night's debate. 

Heady. Sam Sly again. Slowboy, I fear you are 
malicious. Sly is one of our best debaters ; and be- 
cause you do not agree on all points — 

Slowhoy {angrily). We agree on no point. He's a 
saucy, conceited cliap, that's forever interrupting. I 
never atten)pte<l to declaim in school, but what he was 
at my elbow, with his insulting - — 

Sly. ( Who has entered ii., in time to be at Slow- 
^0Y% elbow.) Charcoal!-^ 

Slowboy. O, confound you ! here you are! 

Siy. Yes, here I am, Slowboy, ready to be con- 
founded, if not convinced, by your arguments against 
mother suffrage. — Good evening, Mr. President. 

'Meady. Good evening, Sara. Are the boys com- 
ing? 

Sly. Yes, sir, close at band, 

" All saddled, all bridle^l, aU fit for the fight." 
( They retire up^ and stand at desk, taking together.) 



172 "- SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

{Enter e., Isaac Pearl (rmc^JFRANK Wilson, sjoeaJcing 
as they enter,) 

Isaac. Lew Bunker caught him out on the fly. 
Frank. Ah! What did he sny to that? (77iey 
pass to L., and whisper together.) 

{Enter Percy Kimball and Charley Boardman, 
speakinrj^ 

Percy. "Does your mother know you're out?" 
Charley. He said that — did he ? {They pass to l., 
and stand whispering together.) 

{Enter Norval Young and Mike Shea, speaking as 
they enter^ followed by Frank Black.) 

Nbrval. Well done, brave archer. 

Mike. He was out on the fly. 

I>lack. Out on de fly! Away wid yer nonsense. 
Dat ar Bunker can't fly — ain't got de wings. 

3Iike. Aisy, will ye, Blackey ? Don't 1 tell yez 
'twas a ball? 

Black. O, quit foolin'. Dey don't fly at a ball ; dej 
dance — so. {Shuffles.) 

Mike. Out, ye heathen ! I'll not disturb yer igno- 
rance. 

Ready. {Takes chair., and raps on table.) The 
meeting will please come to order. {All sit. Tom 
Slowboy, r., next table; Isaac Pearl, Frank Wil- 
son, next him; Sam ^LY^extreme r. ; Norval Ypung, 
l., close by president) s desk ; then Mike Shea; Frank 
Black, extreme l.) In the absence of our secretary, 
with the minutes, it will be necessary — 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? tTS 

James Hose (outside). Hold on a minute I Here 
J ami 

{Enters r., with a pen behind his ear^ a hlanJc hoohuri' 
der his arm^ and a roil of paper in his left hand. 
Jle drops the roll^ stoojys to pick it iip^ and the pen 
drops from his ear. 'Stoops for that^ and drops the 
' book f pick's tip that,, cmd places pen behind his ear^ 
when he goes through the sa7ne performance again.) 

Shiobog, Seems, to me the secretary is behind time ; 
he ghould be fined. v 

; jSlg. Don't you see he is picking up the minutes he 
haf^.,lost. ( This just as the secretary is picking up his 
book a second time. All groanS) 

Sloiobog. Puns should be.fingd,] 

JSly. oY.ouM Tiever find one, Slowboy. {All groan.) 

Ready {rap)ping'). Order, gentlemen. {Secretary 
goes to his place.) The first business in order is the 
reading of the records of ^hc last meeting. 

Sly {jumping up). I mo\'e, Mr. President, the 
reading be disi)ensed with. {Sits.) 
,, Slowboy ^ {jumping up). Mr. President, I hope 
the motion, Ayill not prevail. {Sits.) 

Sly {rising). Mr. President, the records of our 
regular were read at our last special, when we voted 
to adjourn immediately after the reading, I don't. see 
any; necessity for reading .theni.r again^it this timet, 
unless the gentleman who objects is unable to under- 
stand. them at one reading. {Sits.) 

Slowboy ywm/>i;z^ a^},. Mr., President^ does Sam 
Sly mean — 



•1Y4 SfiALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

iieady {rapping). Tlie gentleman is out of order. 
The calling of names is unparliamentary. Is the mo- 
tion to omit the reading seconded? 
- Frank. Second the motion. 

Sly. Question ! 

Sloioboy. Mr. Piesident — 

All. {Except Slowboy, president^ and secretly.) 
Question! Question! 

Black. Question afore dc meetin'-house. 

Mike. O, hush yer pate! Yez always howlin*. 

Iieady. It is moved and seconded, that the read- 
ing bf the records be dispensed with. All those in 
favor will manifest it by the usual sign. {^All raise 
hands except Slowboy.) Contrary minded. (SloW'- 
boy's hand up.) It is a vote. 

Black. ( T'o Mike.) Dat ar feller jes like a mule. 

3fike. Always kickin' up. 

&y {aside). Had him there. 

Beady. The meeting is open for business. 

Slowboy {jumping vp). Mr. President. 

Beady. Mr. Slowboy. 

Slowboi/. Mr. President, in view of th^ many in- 
terruptions by which the more orderly have been made 
to suffer, and in consequence of tlie low state of our 
treasury, I move, sir, that, during our deliberations and 
discii«5feioris this evening, any member interrupting 
•another in the orderly i)rogress of debate, shall be 
^ned for each and every offence the sum of five cents. 
{Sits, All groan.) 
' Sly (rising). Mr. President. 

Beady. Mr. Sly. 



SHALL OUB MOTHERS VOTE ?r 175 

%. Mr. Pi-esident, althmigh I seldom -ngr^- with 
the views of the gentleman who has just made the mo- 
tion, finding tliose views in general to be cumbrous, 
old-fjshioned, and unsuited to the progressive spirit 
which I trust animates our councils, yet, in this case, 
his motion is so manifestly in accord with the spirit 
of harmony and good order for which I have always 
been an ardent worker (Slowboy i;roa?is), that I has- 
ten, sir, to second the motion. 

lieadi/. It is mov^ed and seconded, that any mem- 
ber, interrupting another in. the orderly progress of 
dt)bat(? be fined for each and every offence th6 sum of 
five cents. The motion is before the meeting. 
Seve^ral.. Question I Question! 
Meadi/. The question is called for. Those in favor 
of the motion xvill maTiifest it. (^// t/;^) -Contrary ' 
minded. It is a unanimous vote. Ife there any further 
business to como before the meeting ? {Pause:) We 
will then proceed'with the debate. {Bmds.) "Besolved, 
that the good of mankind, the purity of the ballot-box' • 
and the interest of Society, demand that ourVmothers 
shall vote." Mr. Is.iac Pearl will open in the affirmative, 
Mr., P^rcy Kimball in the negative. {Sits.) 

Frank Wilson, {rising). Mr. President, I movfe 
that the question be amended by the addition of -rand- 
mothei-s. I. don't think they should be slighted, ami 
1 ye got a splendid one. .r 

.Qharley Boardman. I've got .an.;auhMIannah ; 
cant you put, her in.?,. , ,om •i,;0 \--«&, ■ , 

Mike {jumping up), TrotB.Tput in the coozens 
^°9r...>yiat eoulcl:aa Irishman do widout^his coozens! r 



176 SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOt^E? 

Itea^y.\ "Gentleinen, you are all entirefy out of order. 
~ Slowhoy {jumps up). Then fine them, Mr. Sec- 
retary, put down Wilson, Boarclmnn, Shea, — 

Heady, Not quite so fast, Mr. Slowboy ; they have 
made no interruption. I should have said tlie amend- 
ments were out of order, as the question for debate 
chosen at a previous meeting cannot be amended at a 
subsequent. Mr. Pearl, you have theHoor. (Slow- 
boy sits.) 

.Isaac Pearl {risin//), Mr. President, ■ this is an 
age of progress, and I think the Literary Debaters of 
this society in the selection of the resolution on wliich 
I have the honor to speak in the affirmative here, have 
shown a commendable spirit of enterprise, which will 
be rewarded with the gi-ateful plaudits of a ransomed 
nation, when woman, granted her rights, shall wield 
with man an equal power in the government of this 
enlightened Community. ( Cries of " Good^^ ** Good^^ 
and clapping of hands from those who speak iri the 
affirmative.) ' ■ 

. Slfyioboy {jumping up). Fines ! Fines ! Mr. Pres- 
ident, this is out of order. Put down Sly, and — 

Heady. Order, Mr. Slowboy. Judicious applause 
is /il^ays allowable in our debates. Sit down. (Slow- 
boy sits.) Go on, Mr. Pearl. ' ' 

Jpeatl. And who should have the first place in the 
moving march of reform? Who are best fitted to 
liav^ a voice in the government? Who are heaven- 
born electors ? Our mothers, sir. Is not their first 
duty -government ? Who govern us? Who Jiave 
governed the greatest men that ever lived ? Mothers. 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS" VOTE? 177 

Thoy tencli onr infant lips tlie language of our country. 
They lead our infant steps in the path of duty. , Tliey 
spur us on to excel, and guard our ways with good 
counsel. Give them the ballot, and their influence will 
make better laws. Give them the ballot, and the ward- 
room and the feleCtion-booths will be cleansed of* cor- 
ruption. Give thetrt the ballot, and society will be an 
ever-changing spectacle of wrongs crushed out, and* 
reforms working goodness, purity, and peace, while 
justice, exalted to the highest place, shall ever crown 
the earnest worker with the laurels of victory. {Ap- 
2Jlause, and cries of " GoocV Pearl siis.) 

Black, (Tb Mike.) Dat's so. It jestak^ de bul- 
lets to crush up de spe'tacles, an — an — 

Mike. Whisht yer blarney. Ye's on the ither side. 

Ready. Mr. Percy Kimbnll has the floor. 

Percy {rising). Mr. President and Gentlemen, are 
we prepared tp accept the views of the gentleman who 
has prect-ded ine, and forever submit to petticoat gov- 
ernment? He has spoken eloquently, I admit ; but, 
sir, truth is above the vapid utterances of an impas- 
sioned harangue, which, I doubt not, has bfe^en carefully 
com])ilod from all the speeches of the last fifty years. 
What l^'^re we to be forever tied to our mothers? Are 
we to give lip the bi%ht anticipations of the future, 
\then we are to have stifl'-tailed coats and long-crowned 
bfeavers, and to cut lo6se from our mothers' apron-^ 
strings, and do just as we please? (Applause^ and 
cries of ''^Good'^^'^'Gdod,^^ from the speakers on the 
negative.) • • ■ 

Sly {rising), Mr. - President —;- 
12 



178 SHALL OLii MOTHERS VOTE? 

Slowboy {jumping vp).^ An interruption. Fine 
him, Mr. President. Mr. Secretary, put down Sam Sly 
live cents. 

i^ly. Mr. President, I rise to a point of order. 

Heady. State your point, Mr. Sly. 

Sly. The gentleman who has the; ^oor has intro- 
duced* such wild fashions — stiff-crowned coats and 
long-tailed beavers — as to seriously affect the aspect 
of the questionT I respectfully ask that he keep to the 
question. 

Heady. Your point is well taken,, Mr. .Sly. The 
speaker will be more careful in, future. 

Slowhgy. Ain't Sly going to be fined ? 

Heady. No, sir.. He had a right to object. You, 
sir, ^^ere the interriv})ter, and must be fin,e|d< Mr, Sec- 
retary, fine Mr. Slowboy live cents, {^hOV^BOY sits 
down in a J tuff.) . ^-^ 

, Black. Dat are Slowboy^ lie's got no sense. 

Mike. , Begorra, that's broight him to his five sinses, 
onyhow. 

Sly [aside). Plad him there. 

Heady. (^J,q on^ Mr. Kimball. 

Percy. I should have, said stiff-tailed coats and 
long-crowned beavers. No, no, — long-crqwned coats 
and stiff-tailed be^yers. ^o, ; np. Plague take , it — 
they've put m« out. N^o, Mr. President, I'm do^ii on 
the Mother movement. Fair play is a jewel. Mothers 
govern us until we are free ; once fre^, 'tis Man's priv- 
ilege to govern them, and I am not in favor of giving 
up one iota of our manly privileges, when we get them. 
{Sits. Applause by the negative.) . 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 179 

Heady. Gentlemen, the question lias been oyjened 
on both sides, and is now ready for general debate. 

All {jumpinf/ up). ]Mr. President — 

Heady {rapping). Order, gentlemen ; one at a time. 
Mr. Frank Wilson has the floor. {All sit but Frank.) 

Frank {speaks very fast). Mr. President, Pni in 
favor of mothers voting, 'cause Pve got a mother, and 
she's smarted and better than any man that ever lived. 
She ain't going to be abused if I can help it. Pd like 
to know where us fellows would have been if we hadn't 
had any mothers? Who's so kind as they are, who 
has a lot of cookies tucked away when we come home 
hungry — ; ; . ■ 

Sloiohoy {jpmping up).. W^hat's cookies got to do 
with yoting? .^^j .,,;;., ,;.^o< : . M»i>!'ji4';' 

Heady. Mr. Slowboy, you are out of ordei*. Fine 
Slowboy five cents, Mr. Secretaiy. 

Slowhoy. Ml-. President, I've just as much right to 
object to cookies as Sly has to long-tailed hats, f 

Heady. Mr. Sly rose on a point of order, and ad- 
dressed the chair; you interrupted the speaker; be 
seated. (Slowboy sits.) Go on, Mr. Wilson. 

Frank. Yes ;. and I do like to know, when a fellow 
has the ear-ache, who knows just where to pnt her hand 
on something to stop it; and when a fellow gets a 
crack in the skull ^t base-b^ll, who kno^s. where to 
find a piece of brown paper; and when a fellow strikes 
his toe and comes home limping, who knows how to 
cure it up with Russia salve? (Sly lakes a pin fronx 
his coaty passes his hand behind those next him^ and at 
this pair^t sticks it i^itq^ Slowboy.) () . .r^.cy ^ 



180 SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

' Slowho}/ Xjumpihg icp). O, O, O, confound you, 
Ike Pcnrl'l 

Heady. Mr. Slowboy, you nrc out of order. 

Slowhoy. Well, I gtiess you'd be, with a big pin 
stuck into your arm ! 'Twns thnt Ike Pearl. 

Pearl {rising). Mr. President, I indignantly deny 
the chnrge. 

Slowboy. Well, I felt the charge, anyhow, right on 
my ciazy bone. 

Ready. B« seated, sir. You are fined five cent.H. 

(StoAVBOY Si^5.) ^ ' ■ • 

Frayik. Yes, sir, Russia salve; "great Nature's 
bahn." Why, our mothers; and 1 think if Uricle Sam 
had « few of them in the gov.ernment, we shouldn't 
have the President witli the ear-ache becaiise so many 
office-seekers are hanging round it; nor so majiy 
cracked skulls on the battle-field ; nor so many broken 
toGS when' felloAvs run so fast for office. That's the 
sort of mother's boy I am ; and if someliiing ain't done 
pretty quick, if they don't put our mothers in office and 
let'em vote pretty soon, the country^ will go to smash, 
and the glorious bird of freedom go li"mj)ing round 
with a cracked skull and a crushed toe, crying out, 
"Mother! Mother! "and there shall be no mother to 
console him! (Applause. lie sits.) 

Mike. Be jabers, his fut's down on that. 

Black. Yes, indeed, he's a ^oe-mater. 

Norvdl {jum.jying rip). Mr. President — 

Ready. Mr. Young. ' ' ' 

Nerval. My name is Norval — ' 

Slowboy. O, pshaw I this is rto time for declamations. 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 181 

Ready. Mr. Secretaiy, fine Mi".' Slowboy five cents 
for interiMiptian. -^ • 

Slowhoy, Mr. President, this is unjust. 

Heady. TJiose who make laws slionl<l submit to 
them. Mr. Young said liis name was Norval. II.is he 
made a misstateraenX? — Be silent, sir, -^ Go on. 

Norval {with a theatrical air). My nan\e is Norval 
-**- Young. You all kno^v me. I am a boy ; but, sir, I 
soorn to utter such childish nonsense as has just pro- 
ceeded from tlve moi>th of the gentTemanwho lias pre- 
ceded me. He>talUs like a boy, like a boy who thinks' 
the old gnarled oak can be twisted as easily as tlie 
y^jung sapling* I dare do all that may become a man : 
who dares do more is none. Get thee to a nunnery, 
oi" a nuraery,. thou Valiant gentleman,- who prattles sa 
sillily of Russia salve, and l>rown paper, and cookies. 
Give mothei-s bonnets, not ballots. They are not fitted 
for the stern alarms of the political camp. I haven't 
j^t much to say on this question, for, like Othello, rude 
am I in speech, and little skilled in the set phrase of 
peace. But I am opposed to giving mothers the ballots 
Let mothers be content to fit us for the political field, 
where, 

** Blow, winds, come, wrack I ' V. 

At least we'll (lie with harness, on our backi" 

Black, Hear dat! hear d.at ! Dat's a clincher. 
Way up! way up! :^ j 

3Ii7ce. Yis, up the spout. — Mr. Prisident — '■ 

Heady, 'Mr. Shea. 

Mike. -Mr. Prisident, sir, yer honor, it is my priv- 
ilege ■ to «tand in this august confederacy of brave and 



182 SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

inlightenecl fleliberators, on the side av our female 
mithei-s. Sir Mr. Prisident, yer lionor, in my opinion 
the ballot slioukl be in the strongest hands : and haven't 
I a mither? To be sure I have. Don't yees all know 
her? Haven't yees all, wid ginerous heart, patronized 
her panut-stand? To be sure yees have. An' mo 
mither, Sh* Mr. Prisident, yer lionor, is the hiead av the 
hiouse at home. She can knock me daddy down wid a 
bioomstick before he can lift his arm to stay the im- 
pinding crisis. She's tVie spryest on the fnt. Haven't 
I seen her chase the daddy from attic to cellar, and" pin 
him in; the coal-hole; and he wid three minutes the 
starts too? Don't she always bate him in a fistic en- 
counter? An' as for. strong .lungs, whoop! she can 
out-talk a regiment widout takiu' breath. Would I 
go back on me mither ? Niver, Sir Mr. Prisident, yer 
honor; for didn't she tell me wid her own mitherly 
lips that if I said a word agin her having the ballot 
here to-night, she'd flay me alive whin I came home? 
An', Sir Mr. Prisident, yer honor, me .fray opinion is, 
that mithers should have the ^ballot. (Sits.) 

Charley J3 oar dman (rises). Mr. President. 

Ready. Mr. Boardman. 

Charley. Mr. President, when a fellow comes here 
and tells us what his mother told him to say, and ain't 
got no opinion of his own, I think he'd better be sent 
home in quick order, to meet the punishment his cow- 
ardice m.erits. t,, 

Mika {jumping up). "What's that ? A coward *— 
ami? . , ' 

Ready, Order, Mr. Shea. Secretary, fine Mr. Sheai 
five cents for interruption. 



SSALIi OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 185 

Slowhoij. Goofl, goorl! Serves liim jJight, ' 
Remhj, Also fine Mr. Slowboy five cents. 

• Slowboy. Mr. President, I protest — 
Keachj, Be silent, sir. — Go on, Mr. Bojlnlmnn. 
Charley. I've no more to sny, Mr. Pre8i<lent. . But 

if the male Shea deems himself nfFroiited by my allu- 
sion ta the female Shea, I am ready to meet him on 
neutral ground behind the school-house. But let us 
liaVe no she government. {Sits.) 
\Sam Sly {rising). Mr. President — 

Slowboy {rising). Mr. President — 

Heady. Mr. Sly has the floor. 

• Slowboy. No, sir ; I rose firsts and I demand my 
rights. 

Ready. I Certainly heard Mr. Sly*8 voice fii-st. 

Slowboy. I Mill not be put down in this manner. 

Heady. Fine Mr. Slowboy five cents. 

Slowboy. This is unjust, sir. I demand a hearing. 

Heady. Fine Mr. Slowboy five cents ngain. 

Slowboy. But, sir, I rise to a point of order. I 
appeal from your decision. 

Heady. Mr. Slowboy appeals from the decision of 
the'chair. Those in fivor of sustaiining the chair in its 
decision will please manifest it. (All vp but Slowboy.) 
Contrary minded. It is a unanimous votfe. Mr. Slow- 
boy, be seated. Mr. Sly, yoft have the floor.- 
f hly. Mr. President, I am very sorry to disappoint 
rmy young friend, and I willingly give way to allow 
him the floor. {Sits.) Had him there. 

Slowboy {risiif(/). Mr. President. 

Ready. Mr. Slowboy. 



184 gHAI^lZ. OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

Slowhoy. I eahiiot be insensible to the kindness of 
the gentleman who has given way. If Iiis politeness 
had come a little sooner it niiglit^ h-ave saved me some 
expense. Still I am obliged to him. 

Sly {rising wid bowiiig). Not at all, Mr. Slowboy. 
{Sits.) 

,. Sloichoy \quicJcly). Anj interruption, Mr^ President. 
Fine him. . , ; .; , • 

Heady. I decline to, sir, He'very pplitely acknowl- 
edged your courtesy. It' politeness is to be fitied,^'»ii 
will have to introduce a new motion. 

Slowboy {aside). Confound him. {Aloud) Mr. P^'es- 
ident, the question to-night is, Should mothers votp-, or 
should they not vote ? I am opposed to any such vio- 
lation of the rigiits-. of men. Give mothers the riglit 
to vote, and at one fell swoop you overturn the piUars 
of state. Give them the right, and ihcy will possess 
themselves of the rein^; of govermnent, and, our halls 
of legislation would be tumed into nurseries. Instead 
of the indignant protest 'of our carpet-bng senators, 
would be heard the wail of the infant. Instead of the 
chink of gold in onr custom-houses, the sound of the 
scrubbing-brush; and courts and halls would eioho with 
;the scandal of sewing-circles and tea-fights. No, sir. 
Let us stand fii*m against any encroachments of onr 
rights. Let us oppose the coming wave of change, 
drive back the onward charge of mothers' suffrage, and, 
with our backs against the rock of manly rights, cry, 
in the words of -the psalmist, — . .:(,■! •. 

v'; TJji$ rock shall flpe 
From its firm base as soon as we." 
{SiU, Applause,) 



SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE ? 185 

Black (rises). Mr. President, snr. 

Ready. .One moment, Mr. Black. Mr. Sly has the 
floor. 

Sly. I give way to the geutleman of color, Mr. 
President. 

Black. Mr. President, sar,wh-wh-what nil dis talk 
about mudder snfferingis, hey? Does dis' ole miidder 
sutler any more dan de boy slie fotihed up— I ax you? 
Don't we git lammed and cuffed ? atid are we agwine 
ter gib uf) our glorious heresy ob freedom jes when we 
got our cil)bil lights — I ax you ? Wh-vvhose mtidder 
suifers — I ax you ? Am she \vhifee,-or,am slie black ? 
Wh-what she got to do wid de question upon dis meet- 
ing-hoiisc ? I wish de gemleni over de rigjit and de 
gemlem over de left would stick to de question, — Shall 
mudders' Vote, or shall tiiey not vote ? — -hot keep a 
bringin' 6le mudder sufferings into de fight. I don't 
Icere which side licks, as I ain't got no mudder^ and 
nebl>er had none ; but I gwine in foi* unibi'rsal freedom, 
and de Declaration of Independence, an' ^— an' de 
star-spangled banner, onto ebery -scliool-house in de 
land, and de colored man on top ob de wood-pile. {Sits» 
Applause.) 

Sly {rising). Mr. President, so much has been said 
on both sides of this question, that my feeble voice 
need not be raised on this occasion. 

Sloioboy. Then sit down. 

Ready. Order, gentlemen. One mor^ fine for Mr. 
Slowboy., 

Sly. But, sir, I should be nngrntefnl to the mother 
that bore me, did I not pronoauce her Mrorthy to staad 



186 SHALL OUR MOTHERS VOTE? 

foitli, clotherl with the right t<y raise her voice and cast 
Ikt vote in the government of our hmd. Wlmt lins 
man ncconiplislied lor the good of mankind, the purity 
.of the bnUot-box, and the welfare of society, that 
woman, and foremost of all, our mothers, could not 
accomplish, but give. them the opportunity? What 
have they 'not done already? Ask the millions of 
lieroes, who fought and bled for freedom, wheie 
thby • caught their first inspiration. They will tell 
•you, at their mothers' knee. Ask the free and en- 
lightened voter, who taught him to carefully probe 
political questions, and pluck the wheat from the chaff. 
He will tell you 'twas a mother's, a wife's, or a sister's 
influence. Can any work prosper without their ni<l ? 
Is not society purified by their presence? Arc tliey 
not in this new movement gathering to their aid the 
eloquence and energy of the best and noblest men? 
T3e just, be generous. Stand by the motherSj who al- 
ways stand by us; who guard, and guide, and teacli 
us. We knew none better in our youth ; we can choose 
none better when we reach the summit of a boy's am- 
bition -^ the right to vote. {Sits. Applause.) 

Ready. Will any other gentleman speak on the 
question? What is your pleasure ? 

Slowboy. I move we vote on the merits of the ques- 
tion. 

Sly. Second the motion. 

Heady. All in favor of adopting the resolution will 
manifest it in the usual manner. {All but those who 
speak in the neyative vote.) Contrary minded. {Niig- 
atiues vote-) It is a vote. ; j> * i'l; ,-•- ^ i^J 



SHALL Orrlt MOTHERS VOTE? 187 

Black. Say, Mike, am she guilty, or am she not 
guilty? 

Mike. O, whisht yer blarney I . 

Slowboy. Mr. President, I'd like to have the secre- 
tary read the list of fines. 

jiHose {reads). Mike Shea, five cents ; Tom Slow- 
boy, forty.cents. 

Slotohoy. Darn it, just my luck! 

Sly (risinr/). Mr. President. As our excellent treas- 
urer has, like other famed inventors, fallen under the 
axe of his own guillotine, let us be magnanimous. I 
confess, sir, I must be held answerable for one of his 
interruptions. I move, sir, that ,the_ fines imposed this 
evening be remitted. j :,,,,, , 

jShea {jimijnng up). Second the motion. 

Heady. It is moved and seconded that the fines im- 
posed this evening be remitted. Those in favor of the 
motion will manifest it. {All up.) Contrary minded. 
It is a vote. 

Sly. Mr. Presidotnt, I move we now adjourn. 

JBoardman. Second the motion. 

Heady. It is moved and seconded we now adjourn. 
Those in favor will manifest it in the usual manner. 
{All up.) Contrary minded. It is a vote. 

Sloibhoy {coming down). Sam Sly, you're always 
in luck. I thought I had you on the fines. 

Sly. Did you, "Slowboy ? Remember the old max- 
im, " Curses are like young chickens, and still come 
home to roost." [^ExeunU 



- "Books that ov Teachers ought to hare os hand to SFICS U? vlth bov uH 
then." — St. Loois Journal of Education. 



HEADING CLDB fflJ HANDY SPEAKEE, 

BEING 

Selections in Prose and Poetry, 

■Serious, Humorous. Pathetic, . Patriotic and Dramatic. FRESH 

and ATTRACTIVE PIECES for SCHOOL SPEAKERS 

and READING CIRCLES. 

In the words of the Gospel Bannkr, — 

' From grave to gay, from, lively to severe,^ 
In poetrii and jiro.te aiudiciou* mixture here ; 
liesidc oiitlaiidL>/i dialects, full uf xcordi odd and queer. 
Which ftir one's senae of humor us they fall upon the ear, 
I'leasant io those who read or speak as unto thuse tcho hear. 

Published in Parts, each Part containing Fifty Selections. Paper Covers, 15 
cents each. Printed on Fine Paper, and Handsomely Bound in Clotli, price, 
60 cents each, 

iiEA^iDiasrca- C3l.xjb :^TO- i. 

"We have many readers and books that purport to furnish pieces for the use 
of amateur speakers and juvenila orators. But the great defect in neariy ail of 
them is, that their selections are made from the same series of authors. We are 
surfeited ad nauseam with ' The boy stood on the burning deck, ' ' On Linden, 
when the sun was low,' 'My name is Norval ! ' or, ' My voice is still for war.' 
But in this volume, the first of a series, Mr. Baker deviates from the beaten 
traick, and filrnishes soine fifty selections which have not been published before 
in any collection ofreadings. Mr. Baker has himself written niany pieces for the 
amateur stage, and achieved a reputation as a public reader, so that lie is eminently 
qualified by his own experience for the task of teaching others." — J-/iil. Age^ 

K.EA.r>I2SrC3- CIL.XJB 3sro. 2_ 

"Mr. Baker deserves the thanks of the reading public for his indefatigable 
endeavors in the field of light and agreeable literature. The selections are made 
with good taste, and the book will be of great value for its indicated purpose." — 
Ne'w Haven Courier, 

"111 its adaptation to day schools, seminaries, colleges, and home reading, the 
work will be found very superior in its variety and adaptability of contents."— 
Dayton {Ohio) Press. 

HEA.3DllvrC3- CXiXJB IvTO- 3. 

"This is one of those books thr.t our teachers ought to have at hand to spice 
7^/ wiih nosy and then. This is No. 3 of the series, and they are ail brim full 
of short articles, serious, humorous, paihetic. patriotic, and dramatic. Send and 
get one, and you will be sure to get the rest." — St. Louis Journal 0/ Educa- 
tion, Jan. 1876. , . 

"The young elocutionist will find it a convenient pocket companion, and the 
genaitfai reader deiive much amusement at odd moments from its perusal." — 
Forest a7td Stream, N. V., Jan. 6, 1876. 

■ ie,E-A.X>I2SrO CUXJB 3SrO- 4- iJuMt Readt/.) 



Sold hy all Booksellers, and sent by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price, 

LEE & SEEPARD, Publishers, Boston. 



SPENCER'S UNIVERSAL STAGE, 



36. 



37. 



38. 



39. 



42. 



43. 



48, 



nSainond cut l>iaiiioiid. An In- ] 

tcrlude in One Act. By W. H. Mur- 
ray. 10 Male, 1 Female character, j 

Zjook after Brown. A Farce in 
One Act. By George A. Stuart, ; 
M. D. () Male, 1 Female character. 

Monseigneiir. A Drama in Three 
Acts. By Thomas Archer. 15 Male, i 
3 Female characters. ; 

A very pleasant Evening. A i 
Farce in One Act. By W. E. Suter. i 

3 ]Male characters. j 
Brother Ben. A Farce in One j 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 Male, 3 | 
Female characters. I 

Only a Clod. A Comic Drama in 
One Act. By J. P. Simpson. 4 Male, 

1 Female character. 
Gaspardo the Gondolier. A 

Drama in Three Acts. By George 
Almar. 10 Male, 2 Female charac- 
terp. ! 

Sunshine through the Clouds. 
A Drama in (>ne Act. By Slingsby 
Lawrence. 3 Male, 3 Female char- 
acters. 

Don't Judge toy Appearances. 
A Farce in One Act. By J. M. Mor- ' 
ton. 3 JNIale, 2 Female characters. 

IVui-sey ChicliAveed. A Farce in 
One Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 
Male, 2 Female characters. 

Mary Moo; or, Which shall I 
Marry? A Farce in One Act. By 
W. E. Suter. 2 Male, 1 Female 
character. 

£ast liynne. A Drama in Five 
Acts. 8 Male, 7 Female characters. 

The Hidden Hand. A Drama in 
Five Acts. By Robert Jones. 16 
Male, 7 Female characters. 

Sil verstone's "Wager. A Commedi- 
etfa in One Act. Jiy R. K. Andrews. 

4 JMale, 3 Female character.s. 
Dora. A Pastoral Drama in Three 

Acts. By Charles Keade. 5 Male, 

2 Female characters. 

Blanks and Prizes. A Farce in 
One Act. By Doxtor Smith. 5 
JIaic. 2 Female characters. 
, Old <i;oosel)erry. A Farce in One 
Act. Jiy T. J. Williams. 4 Male, 
2 Female characters. 



53. Who's W^ho, A Farce in One Act. 

By T. J, Williams. 3 Male, 2 Fe- 
male characters. 

54. Bouquet. A Farce in One Act. 2 

Male, 3 Female charactersV - - - 

55. The W^ife's Secret, A Play in 

Five Acts. By George W. Lovell. 
10 Male, 2 Female characters. 

5C. The Batoes im the Wood. A 

Comedy in Three Acts. By Tom 
Taylor, 10 Male, 3 Female charac- 
ters, * 

57. Putkins : Heir to Castles in the 

Air. A Comic Drama in One Act. 
By W. K. Emerson. 2 Male, 2 Fe- 
male characters. 

58. An Ugly Customer. A Farce in 

One Act, By Thomas J. Will'<»infc. 
3 Male, 2 Female characters. 

59. Blue and Cherry. A Comedy in 

One Act, 5 Male, 2 Female charac- 
ters. 

<i0. A Doutotful Victory. A Comedy 
in One Act. 3 Male, 2 Female char- 
acters. 

p:. The Scarlet ILetter. A Drama n 
Three Acts. 8 Male, 7 Female char- 
acters, 

G2. Which will have Him ? A Vau- 
deville, 1 Male, 2 Female charac- 
ters. 

63. Madam is Atoed, A Vaudeville in 

One Act. 2 Male, 2 Female charac- 
ters. 

64. The Anonymous Kiss. A Vaude- 

ville. 2 Male, 2 Female characters. 
G5. The Cleft Stick, A Comedy in 
Three Acts. 5 Male, 3 Female char- 
acters. 

66. A Soldier, a Sailor, a Tinker, 

and a Tailor. A Farce in One 
Act. 4 Male, 2 Female characters. 

67. Give a Dog a Bad IVame, A 

Farce.' 2 IVIale, :' Female Characters. 

68. Damon and Pythias. A Farce. 

<i Male, 4 Female cliaracters. 

69. A husband to Orde::'. A Serio- 

comic Drama in Two Acts. 5 Male, 
3 Female characters. 

70. Payatole on Demand. A Domes- 

Tic Drama in Twu Acts. 7 Male, 1 
Female character. 



Price, 15 cents each. Descriptive Catalogue mailed free on application to 
CEO. Mo BAKER & CO., 

Nos. 41-45 Franklin Street, Boston. 



» OQ Qa.C>D-0OQt)QT)Og»'t) 



LIBRflRY ui- '-uw 




015 785 412 4# CEORCE M. BAKER, 

Author of ''■Amateur Dramas;' " The Mimic Stage" " The Social Stage," " The DratDing-Boom 
Stage," " Handy Dramas^' " TAe Exhibition Drama," "^ Baker's Dozen," &c. 

Titles in this Type are Wew Plays. 

Titles in this Type are Temperance Plays. 



DRAMAS. 

In Three Acts. 
Tlie Floiver of tlie Family. 5 

male, ^ female char 

Enlisted for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- 
male characters 

My Brother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char 

The Little JSrown Jug, 5 male, 3 

female char 

In Two Acts. 

Above the Clouds. 7 male, 3 female 
characters 

One Iliiiiclrecl Years Ago. 7 male, 
4 female char 

Among the Breakers. 6 male, 4 female 
char 

Bread on the Waters. 5 male, 3 female 
char 

Down by the Sea. 6 male, 3 female 
char 

Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. 

Tlie Last Loaf. 5 male, 3 female char. 
/« 07ze Act. 

Stand by the Flag. 5 male char . . . 

The Temjiter. 3 male, i female char. 

COMEDIES AND FARCES. 

A Mysterious Disappearauce. 4 

male, 3 female char 

Padtlle Your Own Canoe. 7 male, 

3 female char 

A. IJrop too Much. 4 male, 2 female 

characters 

A Little More Cider. 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char 

A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 
female char 

Never Say Die. 3 male, 3 female char. 

Seeing the Elephant, 6 male, 3 female 
char 

The Boston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. 

The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- 
male char ' ' • 

Thirty Minutes for Refreshments. 

4 male. 3 female char 

Wc^re all Teetotalers. 4 male, 2 fe- 
male char 

Male Characters Only. 

A Close Shave. 6 char 

A Public Benefactor. 6 char 

A Sea of Troubles. 8 char 

A Tender Attachment. 7 char. . . . 

Coals of Fire. 6 char 

Freedom of the Press. 8 char. . . . 

CEO. M. BAKER 



COMEDIES, &c., continued. 

Shall Our Mothers Vote ? n char. 
Gentlemen of the Jury. 12 char. . . 
Humors of the Strike. 8 char. . . 
My Uncle the Captain. 6 char. . . 
New Brooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . 

The Great Elixir. 9 char 

The Hypochondriac, schar 

The Man with the J}etniJohn. 4 

char 

The Runaways. 4 char 

The Thief of Time. 6 char 

Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. . . . 

Fetnale Characters Only. 
A Love of a Bonnet. 5 char. . . . 

A Precious Pickle. 6 char 

No Ci;re no Pay. 7 char 

The Champion of Her Sex. 8 char. . 
The Greatest Plague in Life. 8cha. 

The Grecian Bend. 7 char 

The Red Chignon. 6 char. .... 
Using the Weed. 7 char 

ALLEGORIES. 

Arranged for Music and Tableaux. 

Lightheart's Pilgrimage. 8 female 
char 

The Revolt of the Bees, g female 
char 

The Sculptor's Triumph, i male, 4 fe- 
male char 

The Tournament of Idylcourt. 10 
female char 

The War of the Roses. 8 female char. 

MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. 

An Original Idea, i male, i female 

char, 

Bonbons ; or, the Paint King. 6 male, 

I female char 

Capuletta ; or, Romeo and Juliet 

Restored. 3 male, i female char. . 

Santa Claus' Frolics 

Snow-bound ; or, Alonzo the Brave 

AND the Fair Imogene. 3 male, i 

female char 

The Merry Christmas of the Old 

Woman who lived in a Shoe. . . 
The Pedler of Very Nice. 7 male 

char • • •. • 

The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertam- 

ment. Numerous male and female char. 
Too Late for the Train. 2 male char. 
The Visions of Freedom. 11 female 

char 



& CO., 4l-<^5 Franklin St., Boston. 



Baker's Humorous Dialogues. 
Baker's Humorous DIalosues. 



Male characters only. 25 c«nU. 
Femala character* only. 26 cent 



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